Spoilsports Not Welcome
Overzealous parents put a damper on kids' athletic involvement

(HealthDay News) -- It's tough being a parent on the sidelines when a child is participating in an athletic event. Your slugger's three strikes tug at your heart; a line judge's bad call boils your blood.

"Parents can be more tense than the kids, because they aren't able to control anything on the field, and that's their child out there," sports psychologist Daniel Gould, director of the Institute for the Study of Youth Sports and a professor in the Department of Kinesiology at Michigan State University , told HealthDay .

But for the sake of the child, it's important not to get too emotionally involved, Gould and other experts say, because parents can play an important role in their child's athletic success. If parents behave badly, it can ruin the experience for their kids.

Gould and a team of researchers surveyed 132 United States junior tennis coaches to assess parents' positive and negative influence.

The coaches indicated that most of the parents they worked with (59 percent) had a positive influence on their child's development as a player. These parents provided logistical, financial and emotional support, as well as tennis opportunities and unconditional love, the coaches said.

But the coaches also said reported that 36 percent of parents negatively influenced their child's development by over-emphasizing winning, holding unrealistic expectations and criticizing their child.

Sports psychologist John Heil urges parents not to act as if they're their child's personal assistant coach.

"It can become very confusing, and it can create some tension when a parent's advice differs from the coach," Heil told HealthDay . He chairs the U.S. Fencing Association's Sports Science, Safety and Technology Committee.

After a game, he said, parents should refrain from lecturing, instead focusing on the positive. Point out what went well in the game and the good choices a child made along the way, he suggests.

The Women's Sports Foundation encourages coaches to help educate parents about their role and responsibilities. These include:

• Respecting a child's rights. It's OK to encourage a child to participate in a sport, but do not pressure, intimidate or bribe the child to play a sport or a particular position.
• Helping a child choose an activity. Counsel the child about the competitive level or type of sport. If a child wants to try out for a traveling team, for example, make sure he or she understands that the team might travel every weekend for the next two months and practice a couple of times a week.
• Entrusting the child to his or her coach. Trust the other adult -- the coach -- to guide your child's sports experience and accept his or her authority.
• Accepting triumphs. Regardless of the quality of a child's performance, accept it without critiquing -- and don't continually seek more from the child.
• Accepting disappointments. Support a child when he or she is disappointed or hurt and help the child look for the positive in every situation.
• Demonstrating appropriate behavior. Show self-control and be a role model for your child.

On the Web

For more tips on fostering good sportsmanship, check out information provided by the Nemours Foundation.

SOURCES: HealthDay News ; Daniel Gould, Ph.D., director, Institute for the Study of Youth Sports, and professor, Department of Kinesiology, Michigan State University, East Lansing, Mich.; John Heil, D.A., sports psychologist, Psychological Health Roanoke, Roanoke, Va., and chairman, Sports Science, Safety and Technology Committee, U.S. Fencing Association, Colorado Springs, Colo.; July 2006, British Journal of Sports Medicine ; Women's Sports Foundation, East Meadow, N.Y.
Author: Karen Pallarito
Publication Date: July 31, 2008
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